Sunday, July 25, 2004
Songs: (im bored and i love this song)
[Girl] Yeaaah, hahahaha...whooooo, shit!
[Em](aight)
[Eminem] Guess what? I ain't coming in yet...
I'll come in a minute
[Eminem] Ayo...This is my love song...it goes like this
[Eminem]
Back when Mark Walhberg was Marky Mark
This is how we used to make the party start
We used to mix Hen' with Bacardi Dark
And when it, kicks in you can hardly talk
And by the, sixth gin you're gonna probably crawl
And you'll be, sick then and you'll probably barf
And my pre-diction is you're gonna probably fall
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall
And everything's spinning
You're beginin' to think women
are swimming in pink linen again in the sink
Then in a couple of minutes that bottle of Guiness is finished
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches
You have the right to remain violent and start wilin'
Start a fight with the same guy that was smart eyin' you
Get in your car, start it, and start drivin'
Over the island and cause a 42 car pile-up
[Em's spaceman voice]Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot
Look at the life on this planet, sir, no sign of it
All I can see is a bunch of smoke flyin'
And I'm so high that I might die if I go by it
Let me out of this place
I'm outta place
I'm in outer space
I've just vanished without a trace
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow
I'll be back in an hour or so
Chorus
[Eminem]
'Cause every time I go to try to leave
Something keeps pullin' on my sleeve
I don't wanna, but I gotta stay
These drugs really got ahold of me
'Cause every time I try to tell them "no"
They won't let me ever let them go
I'm a sucka all I gotta say
These drugs really got ahold of me
[Eminem]
In third grade, all I used to do
Was sniff glue through a tube and play rubix cube
17 years later I'm as Rude as Jude
Scheming on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I've got no game
And every face looks the same
They've got no name
So I don't need game to play
I just say whatever I want to whoever I want
Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want
However, I do show some respect to few
As ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"
I gotta go bitch
You know I have stuff to do
'Cause if I get caught cheatin' then I'm stuck with you
But in the long run
These drugs are probably going to catch up sooner or later
But fuck it, I'm on one
So let's enjoy
Let the X destroy your spinal cord
So it's not a straight line no more
'Til we walk around looking like some wind-up dolls
Shit's sticking out of our backs like a dinosaur
Shit, six hits won't even get me high no more
So bye for now
I'm going to try to find some more
Chorus
[Eminem]
That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow
When you swallow it all wollow and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow you're probably going to want to do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend? Screw it
And what's a little bit of alcohol poisoning?
And what's a little fight?
Tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life
Live it however you wanna
Marijuana is everywhere
Where was you brought up?
It don't matter as long as you get where you're going
'Cause none of the shit is going to mean shit where we're going
They tell you to stop, but you just sit there ignoring
Even though you wake up feeling like shit every morning
But you're young
You've got a lot of drugs to do
Girls to screw
Parties to crash
Sucks to be you
If I could take it all back now, I wouldn't
I would have did more shit that people said that I shouldn't
But I'm all grown up now and upgraded and graduated
Did better drugs and updated
But I've still got a lot of growing up to do
I've still got a whole lot of throwing up to spew
But when it's all said and done I'll be 40
Before I know it with a 40 on the porch telling stories
With a bottle of Jack
Two grandkids in my lap
Babysiting for Haley while Haley's out getting smashed
Chorus 2x (Same as previous, but 2nd time
the last line is repeated like this)
Drugs really got ahold of me
They really got ahold of me
'Cause drugs really got ahold of me
They really got ahold of me
~Drug Ballad- Eminem ~
[Girl] Yeaaah, hahahaha...whooooo, shit!
[Em](aight)
[Eminem] Guess what? I ain't coming in yet...
I'll come in a minute
[Eminem] Ayo...This is my love song...it goes like this
[Eminem]
Back when Mark Walhberg was Marky Mark
This is how we used to make the party start
We used to mix Hen' with Bacardi Dark
And when it, kicks in you can hardly talk
And by the, sixth gin you're gonna probably crawl
And you'll be, sick then and you'll probably barf
And my pre-diction is you're gonna probably fall
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall
And everything's spinning
You're beginin' to think women
are swimming in pink linen again in the sink
Then in a couple of minutes that bottle of Guiness is finished
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches
You have the right to remain violent and start wilin'
Start a fight with the same guy that was smart eyin' you
Get in your car, start it, and start drivin'
Over the island and cause a 42 car pile-up
[Em's spaceman voice]Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot
Look at the life on this planet, sir, no sign of it
All I can see is a bunch of smoke flyin'
And I'm so high that I might die if I go by it
Let me out of this place
I'm outta place
I'm in outer space
I've just vanished without a trace
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow
I'll be back in an hour or so
Chorus
[Eminem]
'Cause every time I go to try to leave
Something keeps pullin' on my sleeve
I don't wanna, but I gotta stay
These drugs really got ahold of me
'Cause every time I try to tell them "no"
They won't let me ever let them go
I'm a sucka all I gotta say
These drugs really got ahold of me
[Eminem]
In third grade, all I used to do
Was sniff glue through a tube and play rubix cube
17 years later I'm as Rude as Jude
Scheming on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I've got no game
And every face looks the same
They've got no name
So I don't need game to play
I just say whatever I want to whoever I want
Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want
However, I do show some respect to few
As ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"
I gotta go bitch
You know I have stuff to do
'Cause if I get caught cheatin' then I'm stuck with you
But in the long run
These drugs are probably going to catch up sooner or later
But fuck it, I'm on one
So let's enjoy
Let the X destroy your spinal cord
So it's not a straight line no more
'Til we walk around looking like some wind-up dolls
Shit's sticking out of our backs like a dinosaur
Shit, six hits won't even get me high no more
So bye for now
I'm going to try to find some more
Chorus
[Eminem]
That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow
When you swallow it all wollow and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow you're probably going to want to do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend? Screw it
And what's a little bit of alcohol poisoning?
And what's a little fight?
Tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life
Live it however you wanna
Marijuana is everywhere
Where was you brought up?
It don't matter as long as you get where you're going
'Cause none of the shit is going to mean shit where we're going
They tell you to stop, but you just sit there ignoring
Even though you wake up feeling like shit every morning
But you're young
You've got a lot of drugs to do
Girls to screw
Parties to crash
Sucks to be you
If I could take it all back now, I wouldn't
I would have did more shit that people said that I shouldn't
But I'm all grown up now and upgraded and graduated
Did better drugs and updated
But I've still got a lot of growing up to do
I've still got a whole lot of throwing up to spew
But when it's all said and done I'll be 40
Before I know it with a 40 on the porch telling stories
With a bottle of Jack
Two grandkids in my lap
Babysiting for Haley while Haley's out getting smashed
Chorus 2x (Same as previous, but 2nd time
the last line is repeated like this)
Drugs really got ahold of me
They really got ahold of me
'Cause drugs really got ahold of me
They really got ahold of me
~Drug Ballad- Eminem ~
Saturday, July 24, 2004
hmm...been a long time since i posted...been waiting for something cheerful to write..well..here goes..
we went to sixflags the other week...that was fun...amy went on the Raging Bull and everything! :)
um...we went to the renisance fair too..that was fun....i want a sword....
um...we went shopping the other day...yay new clothes that actually fit me...
um....i started group the other day...wasnt too bad...
im going up to visit my cousins the first week of august...yay....i havent seen them in a while...
um....damn i have nothing else to say thats really cheerful.....um....
oh...apperently im really good at drawing manga...who woulda thought....i can draw a really good guys head for manga...i tried a body the other day and it wasnt too bad for the first time of me drawing it...
and now ill be putting lyrics up because i have no more cheerful things to say..hehehe...
Songs:
Chorus: Eminem (repeat 4X)
That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back (I'm Back) [SLIM SHADY!] I'm Back
[Eminem]
I murder a rhyme one word at a time
You never, heard of a mind as perverted as mine
You better, get rid of that nine, it ain't gonna help
What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself?
I'm waitin for hell like hell shit I'm anxious as hell
Manson, you're safe in that cell, be thankful it's jail
I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve
Thirteen I was puttin shells in a gauge on a shelf
I used to, get punked and bullied on my block
'til I cut a kitten's head off and stuck it in this kid's mailbox
{"Mom! MOM!"} I used to give a - fuck, now I could give a fuck less
What do I think of suc-cess? It sucks, too much press I'm stressed
Too much stares two breasts, too upset
It's just too much mess, I guess I must just blew up quick (yes)
Grew up quick (no) was raised right
Whatever you say is wrong, whatever I say is right
You think of my name now whenever you say, "Hi"
Became a commodity because I'm W-H-I-
-T-E, cuz MTV was so friendly to me
Can't wait 'til Kim sees me
Now is it worth it? Look at my life, how is it perfect?
Read my lips bitch, what, my mouth isn't workin?
You hear this finger? Oh it's upside down
Here, let me turn this motherfucker up right now
Chorus
[Eminem]
I take each individual degenerate's head and reach into it
just to see if he's influenced by me if he listens to music
And if he feeds into this shit he's an innocent victim
and becomes a puppet on the string of my tennis shoe
{*vocal scratches*} My name is Slim Shady
I been crazy way before radio didn't play me
The sensational {*vocal scratch "Back is the incredible!"*}
With Ken Kaniff, who just finds the men edible
It's Ken Kaniff on the, internet
Tryin to, lure your kids with him, into bed
It's a, sick world we live in these days
"Slim for Pete's sakes put down Christopher Reeve's legs!"
Geez, you guys are so sensitive
"Slim it's a touchy subject, try and just don't mention it"
Mind with no sense in it, fried to get so frenetic
whose eyes get so squinted, I'm blind from smokin 'em
with my windows tinted, with nine limos rented
Doin lines of coke in 'em, with a bunch of guys hoppin out
all high and indo scented {*inhales, exhales*}
And that's where I get my name from, that's why they call me
Chorus
[Eminem]
I take seven [----] from [---------], stand 'em all in line
Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine
a Mack-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine
and that's a whole school of bullies shot up all at one time
Cause (I'mmmm) Shady, they call me as crazy
as the world was over this whole Y2K thing
And by the way, N'Sync, why do they sing?
Am I the only one who realizes they stink?
Should I dye my hair pink and care what y'all think?
Lip sync and buy a bigger size of earrings?
It's why I tend to block out when I hear things
Cause all these fans screamin is makin my ears ring (AHHHH!!!)
So I just, throw up a middle finger and let it linger
longer than the rumor that I was stickin it to Christina
Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
it'd be Jennifer Lopez, and Puffy you know this!
I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother
I still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it ain't mine, what's my name?
Chorus
[Eminem {*vocal scratching*}]
Guess who's b-back, back
Gue-gue-guess who's back (Hi mom!)
{*scratch*} Guess who's back
{*scratch*} Gue {*scratch*} guess who's back
D-12 {*scratch*} Guess who's back
Gue, gue-gue-gue, guess who's back
Dr. Dre {*scratch*} Guess who's back
Back back {*scratch*} back
{*scratch*}
Slim Shady, 2001
I'm blew out from this blunt (*sighs*) fuck
~ Im back- Eminem ~
we went to sixflags the other week...that was fun...amy went on the Raging Bull and everything! :)
um...we went to the renisance fair too..that was fun....i want a sword....
um...we went shopping the other day...yay new clothes that actually fit me...
um....i started group the other day...wasnt too bad...
im going up to visit my cousins the first week of august...yay....i havent seen them in a while...
um....damn i have nothing else to say thats really cheerful.....um....
oh...apperently im really good at drawing manga...who woulda thought....i can draw a really good guys head for manga...i tried a body the other day and it wasnt too bad for the first time of me drawing it...
and now ill be putting lyrics up because i have no more cheerful things to say..hehehe...
Songs:
Chorus: Eminem (repeat 4X)
That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back (I'm Back) [SLIM SHADY!] I'm Back
[Eminem]
I murder a rhyme one word at a time
You never, heard of a mind as perverted as mine
You better, get rid of that nine, it ain't gonna help
What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself?
I'm waitin for hell like hell shit I'm anxious as hell
Manson, you're safe in that cell, be thankful it's jail
I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve
Thirteen I was puttin shells in a gauge on a shelf
I used to, get punked and bullied on my block
'til I cut a kitten's head off and stuck it in this kid's mailbox
{"Mom! MOM!"} I used to give a - fuck, now I could give a fuck less
What do I think of suc-cess? It sucks, too much press I'm stressed
Too much stares two breasts, too upset
It's just too much mess, I guess I must just blew up quick (yes)
Grew up quick (no) was raised right
Whatever you say is wrong, whatever I say is right
You think of my name now whenever you say, "Hi"
Became a commodity because I'm W-H-I-
-T-E, cuz MTV was so friendly to me
Can't wait 'til Kim sees me
Now is it worth it? Look at my life, how is it perfect?
Read my lips bitch, what, my mouth isn't workin?
You hear this finger? Oh it's upside down
Here, let me turn this motherfucker up right now
Chorus
[Eminem]
I take each individual degenerate's head and reach into it
just to see if he's influenced by me if he listens to music
And if he feeds into this shit he's an innocent victim
and becomes a puppet on the string of my tennis shoe
{*vocal scratches*} My name is Slim Shady
I been crazy way before radio didn't play me
The sensational {*vocal scratch "Back is the incredible!"*}
With Ken Kaniff, who just finds the men edible
It's Ken Kaniff on the, internet
Tryin to, lure your kids with him, into bed
It's a, sick world we live in these days
"Slim for Pete's sakes put down Christopher Reeve's legs!"
Geez, you guys are so sensitive
"Slim it's a touchy subject, try and just don't mention it"
Mind with no sense in it, fried to get so frenetic
whose eyes get so squinted, I'm blind from smokin 'em
with my windows tinted, with nine limos rented
Doin lines of coke in 'em, with a bunch of guys hoppin out
all high and indo scented {*inhales, exhales*}
And that's where I get my name from, that's why they call me
Chorus
[Eminem]
I take seven [----] from [---------], stand 'em all in line
Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine
a Mack-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine
and that's a whole school of bullies shot up all at one time
Cause (I'mmmm) Shady, they call me as crazy
as the world was over this whole Y2K thing
And by the way, N'Sync, why do they sing?
Am I the only one who realizes they stink?
Should I dye my hair pink and care what y'all think?
Lip sync and buy a bigger size of earrings?
It's why I tend to block out when I hear things
Cause all these fans screamin is makin my ears ring (AHHHH!!!)
So I just, throw up a middle finger and let it linger
longer than the rumor that I was stickin it to Christina
Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
it'd be Jennifer Lopez, and Puffy you know this!
I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother
I still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it ain't mine, what's my name?
Chorus
[Eminem {*vocal scratching*}]
Guess who's b-back, back
Gue-gue-guess who's back (Hi mom!)
{*scratch*} Guess who's back
{*scratch*} Gue {*scratch*} guess who's back
D-12 {*scratch*} Guess who's back
Gue, gue-gue-gue, guess who's back
Dr. Dre {*scratch*} Guess who's back
Back back {*scratch*} back
{*scratch*}
Slim Shady, 2001
I'm blew out from this blunt (*sighs*) fuck
~ Im back- Eminem ~
Monday, July 12, 2004
okay, first, i'm sorry this is supposed to be a cheerful post but its not gonna be becuase i am very very depressed right now and i feel like talking and i have no one to talk to....
my brother makes fun of me all the time cuase he says that im on the computer too much...but im fucking not....the only time i ever come on anymore is at night...and its not like we do anything at night either...when im awake during the day im usually with people, sometimes i come on to get some stuff bout drawing or writing but it doesnt take that long. and sure i sleep till like 3 everyday...but ive said it to everyone now like 10 times...if they give me something to do ill get up...but if i have nothing to do isnt sleeping better?? cause if i do get up and have nothing to do ill just be fucking bored and sit there complaining and im sure that people are fucking sick of it by now....
ive been getting really pissed off and depressed lately, no clue y though....ill be in a good or an okay mood and suddenly im sitting there fucking swearing at myself or sitting there wishing not to cry...its getting rather annoying...
*sighs* well...im bored...
i am way too picky about the pics i have saved...and the damn avas for the forums i belong too *sighs* well...hmm...im too busy now to tell bout wht ive been up to lately...ill do it later i guess....
my brother makes fun of me all the time cuase he says that im on the computer too much...but im fucking not....the only time i ever come on anymore is at night...and its not like we do anything at night either...when im awake during the day im usually with people, sometimes i come on to get some stuff bout drawing or writing but it doesnt take that long. and sure i sleep till like 3 everyday...but ive said it to everyone now like 10 times...if they give me something to do ill get up...but if i have nothing to do isnt sleeping better?? cause if i do get up and have nothing to do ill just be fucking bored and sit there complaining and im sure that people are fucking sick of it by now....
ive been getting really pissed off and depressed lately, no clue y though....ill be in a good or an okay mood and suddenly im sitting there fucking swearing at myself or sitting there wishing not to cry...its getting rather annoying...
*sighs* well...im bored...
i am way too picky about the pics i have saved...and the damn avas for the forums i belong too *sighs* well...hmm...im too busy now to tell bout wht ive been up to lately...ill do it later i guess....
Thursday, July 01, 2004
i'm supposed to be writing a cheerful blog but ya know wht? i dont fucking feel like it right now...maybe tomorrow...*sighs*
i love the nighttime...dont know y..i just always have..maybe its the peacefullness of it...maybe because its so dark...im not sure...but at the moment i actually am hating the night...it makes me think too much...which is not wht i want at all...i want to stop thinking, it would be for the best really it would. but i cant i dont know how...
*sighs* and now im fucking bored off my ass!! ahhh!!!
i really hate myself..and i really hate wht people think of my and im fucking tired of spilling my thoughts to the world now..so im shutting up...
i love the nighttime...dont know y..i just always have..maybe its the peacefullness of it...maybe because its so dark...im not sure...but at the moment i actually am hating the night...it makes me think too much...which is not wht i want at all...i want to stop thinking, it would be for the best really it would. but i cant i dont know how...
*sighs* and now im fucking bored off my ass!! ahhh!!!
i really hate myself..and i really hate wht people think of my and im fucking tired of spilling my thoughts to the world now..so im shutting up...
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
alright......so...ive decided something...im gonna go sleep okay?? and then im not gonna wake up right?? okay everyone following me?? right okay good then...its all decided...
words...are weird..i was just writing something and they're very odd dunno y...i think im really...something right now..dunno the word...um...hmmm..words..*laughs*
so..i think im really depressed yet annoyed yet finding everything funny cause my life is shit and tis just amusing. its all just so sad to me...im sure everyone else is just like oh wht the hell this chick should stop complaining lots of people have it worse....well ya know wht i gotta say to that...fuck u, i dont care wht u think....
i wish i was smarter...dunno y...just do i guess...
is it really that odd that im so amused with how much my life sucks and how much pain i feel?? hmm..maybe it is...maybe not..probably though...but whtever dont matter anyways...
*screams* y the hell cant i do anything????!!! ahhhhhh!
whoa...okay....that was an odd little outburst eh? yeah thought so...
tis true though...i cant write anymore..i cant draw anymore...i cant play the guitar like i want to...i cant help anyone...i cant be happy...i cant do this anymore...ahhh...
i really doubt im gonna every accomplish anything....and look here i go complaining again...fucking shit..okay im done here now...
words...are weird..i was just writing something and they're very odd dunno y...i think im really...something right now..dunno the word...um...hmmm..words..*laughs*
so..i think im really depressed yet annoyed yet finding everything funny cause my life is shit and tis just amusing. its all just so sad to me...im sure everyone else is just like oh wht the hell this chick should stop complaining lots of people have it worse....well ya know wht i gotta say to that...fuck u, i dont care wht u think....
i wish i was smarter...dunno y...just do i guess...
is it really that odd that im so amused with how much my life sucks and how much pain i feel?? hmm..maybe it is...maybe not..probably though...but whtever dont matter anyways...
*screams* y the hell cant i do anything????!!! ahhhhhh!
whoa...okay....that was an odd little outburst eh? yeah thought so...
tis true though...i cant write anymore..i cant draw anymore...i cant play the guitar like i want to...i cant help anyone...i cant be happy...i cant do this anymore...ahhh...
i really doubt im gonna every accomplish anything....and look here i go complaining again...fucking shit..okay im done here now...
Monday, June 28, 2004
I was gonna come on here and just write out a buncha stuff just to get it out. write out how im feeling..but the thing is..i dunno wht im feeling right now..i know that my back hurts like hell and i dont really feel too good but thats bout it..
i really just wanna be able to write. but i can't for some reason, its just gone. my ability to write has disappeared. *sighs* i dont think im deep enough to write, i dunno wht the hell i even mean or wht the hell im talking bout here. words are just pouring out through my fingers as i type at this point cause im so desprate to talk about something, talk to someone that its just going and it wont stop now.
i really wanna actually write though, like a book. i wanna fucking write a fucking book!!! ahhh and now im getting pissed off. when im pissed off i get even more pissed off cause u can tell when im pissed off cause i start to say fuck a lot more then usually..and i dont say fuck a lot..sure i say other things but i only say fuck mostly when im really pissed and i dunno y im talking bout this.
even if i did write something i have no where to go for people to tell me wht they think of it...on the many different forums i go to no one ever tells me wht they think of my stories when i post em...ahhh fuck it i dont care...
i really wanna draw dammit. but i dont know wht to draw anymore then i know wht to write. i keep going to elfwood to get some ideas of wht to draw...nothings comeing to me though...its as if everything in me is stopped up..my drawing and writing ability...wanting to cook..though i havent really done that in a while...made cookies the other day though....i like cookies mmmmmm...anyways...back to the point...i cant seem to do anything i love anymore...(sounded kinda wrong there but shhhh) and nothing works either...ive asked a lot of people how to get me to start writing again or something...and ive tried everything they've said...stop writing for a while...i can do that one so easy cause it just doesnt happen anyways...write anything..even if it is crap, write a short story, write wht ur feeling, wht whtever comes to mind. fuck i cant even write that! i cant write my damn thoughts, only reason i can do this is cause..well..i dunno..but i have to think about this. I have to think bout wht im gonna write and wht im thinking. if i just wrote randomly wht i was thinking....people might thinkin im really insane for everything i think. and mostly i think bout some of my stories too and we've already stated that i cant write thoes down....
i dunno whts going on...ahhhh..i think ill go try to draw..or just read maybe..i have nothing better to do with my time anyways ATM....at the moment geez that was funny...i never have anything better to do with my time
*sighs*
i really just wanna be able to write. but i can't for some reason, its just gone. my ability to write has disappeared. *sighs* i dont think im deep enough to write, i dunno wht the hell i even mean or wht the hell im talking bout here. words are just pouring out through my fingers as i type at this point cause im so desprate to talk about something, talk to someone that its just going and it wont stop now.
i really wanna actually write though, like a book. i wanna fucking write a fucking book!!! ahhh and now im getting pissed off. when im pissed off i get even more pissed off cause u can tell when im pissed off cause i start to say fuck a lot more then usually..and i dont say fuck a lot..sure i say other things but i only say fuck mostly when im really pissed and i dunno y im talking bout this.
even if i did write something i have no where to go for people to tell me wht they think of it...on the many different forums i go to no one ever tells me wht they think of my stories when i post em...ahhh fuck it i dont care...
i really wanna draw dammit. but i dont know wht to draw anymore then i know wht to write. i keep going to elfwood to get some ideas of wht to draw...nothings comeing to me though...its as if everything in me is stopped up..my drawing and writing ability...wanting to cook..though i havent really done that in a while...made cookies the other day though....i like cookies mmmmmm...anyways...back to the point...i cant seem to do anything i love anymore...(sounded kinda wrong there but shhhh) and nothing works either...ive asked a lot of people how to get me to start writing again or something...and ive tried everything they've said...stop writing for a while...i can do that one so easy cause it just doesnt happen anyways...write anything..even if it is crap, write a short story, write wht ur feeling, wht whtever comes to mind. fuck i cant even write that! i cant write my damn thoughts, only reason i can do this is cause..well..i dunno..but i have to think about this. I have to think bout wht im gonna write and wht im thinking. if i just wrote randomly wht i was thinking....people might thinkin im really insane for everything i think. and mostly i think bout some of my stories too and we've already stated that i cant write thoes down....
i dunno whts going on...ahhhh..i think ill go try to draw..or just read maybe..i have nothing better to do with my time anyways ATM....at the moment geez that was funny...i never have anything better to do with my time
*sighs*
Friday, June 25, 2004
alright so it was suggested to me that i put some stories of my life up here....but ya know wht...i have no stories..but whtever..
so...ive just realized a part of my problem...well..one of my problems...not totally sure which one though...maybe my happiness problem...anyways....my problem is...that im living in a fantasy world. kind of anyways. I go through most days thinking about one of my books, not all are fantasy but im still living in a fatnasy world cause none of it will ever happen to me in the least bit. I do it on purpose though most of the time, the thinking about my stories...they're just so much better then real life...i suppose i should probably stop and just fucking face this life but im not totally sure i can do that.
I think it hurts too much for me to do that. its odd to keep things in too. i havent been complaining anywhere in..however long its been since i last posted...and its really weird..cause its all just inside and i dont know how to say it really anymore. I dont know where to say it either. a lot of the stuff i say, i would like for people to hear it and comment on it and try to help me, but only a few people read this damn blog and im not sure i wanna post on fe anymore cause some of the people where kinda mean...to some people i know it wouldnt seem that way but it was mean cuase..yeah i dont wanna get into it.
I really just dont know wht the hell to do anymore either...i feel like i cant talk to the people i have, i mean i really really know that i can, but i dunno i feel like i cant.
*sighs*
well none of wht i did there was complaining right??? just saying some shit there right?? yeah lets hope..alright im done for now then....
so...ive just realized a part of my problem...well..one of my problems...not totally sure which one though...maybe my happiness problem...anyways....my problem is...that im living in a fantasy world. kind of anyways. I go through most days thinking about one of my books, not all are fantasy but im still living in a fatnasy world cause none of it will ever happen to me in the least bit. I do it on purpose though most of the time, the thinking about my stories...they're just so much better then real life...i suppose i should probably stop and just fucking face this life but im not totally sure i can do that.
I think it hurts too much for me to do that. its odd to keep things in too. i havent been complaining anywhere in..however long its been since i last posted...and its really weird..cause its all just inside and i dont know how to say it really anymore. I dont know where to say it either. a lot of the stuff i say, i would like for people to hear it and comment on it and try to help me, but only a few people read this damn blog and im not sure i wanna post on fe anymore cause some of the people where kinda mean...to some people i know it wouldnt seem that way but it was mean cuase..yeah i dont wanna get into it.
I really just dont know wht the hell to do anymore either...i feel like i cant talk to the people i have, i mean i really really know that i can, but i dunno i feel like i cant.
*sighs*
well none of wht i did there was complaining right??? just saying some shit there right?? yeah lets hope..alright im done for now then....
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Nihilist Bear
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're ABSOLUTELY INSANE!
Yea, the scary kind of crazy. Who let you out of
your cage? The voices in your head seem to be
your best friends. You so crazy.
Are you crazy?
brought to you by Quizilla
Goddess of the Moon. Beauty, yet a sadness lurks
about you at times. But hey, pain is beauty,
right?
What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla
ive learned some things about myself today...not from thoes quizzes up above..but from something someone said..id rather not say wht i learned really cause it just wouldnt make any sense..but lets just say that i fucking hate myself and my not be posting here for a long while cause im fucking sick of complaining and its all i seem to do..and i need to shut up about things because im a selfish bitch..so..im not posting for a long while now....yeah..whtever..
Sunday, June 06, 2004
so yet again im sitting here...bored off my ass with no one to talk to..but whtever...
i really thought i would have a good day today..i was trying really hard..and i was having a good day..i was having a great day..until everyone got home that is...i dunno y exactly but everything is just pissing me off today...i feel like hurting someone...but i have no one to hurt..and i cant hurt myself dammit becuase ive promised too many people that i wouldnt..*growls* damn people...
well...hmm..um...josh and jason and sam are so much fun to hang out with sometimes...especially when theyre a bit drunk....lol...we went to the movies...friday...yeah that was it....and they were acting like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force(great show) but it was really really funny..."unFRICKING believeabl" lol...so funny..but whtever...i really wish they would pick a time for me and kylee to RP with them cause i really wanna learn...but...ahhh whtever...im really bored...
so..my mom says she got an appointment for me on Tuesday...though i thought she was just gonna try to get me out doing things..but *shrugs* i dunno...but im not sure ill be able to talk to the person..cause i have a hard enough time opening up..and i dunno..yeah....hmm...
really really bored....lalalalala...i havent been able to get the circus song out of my head all day and its been driving me insane....ahhhh...stupid song...*sighs* well..whtever cause now im listening to a cd and itll be gone soon...and im just babbling now cause im bored and have no one to talk to!! yay so much fun!!!!
yeah..right..im sure im annoying whoever reads this now so im gonna stop talking and maybe go yell at myself of something...
i really thought i would have a good day today..i was trying really hard..and i was having a good day..i was having a great day..until everyone got home that is...i dunno y exactly but everything is just pissing me off today...i feel like hurting someone...but i have no one to hurt..and i cant hurt myself dammit becuase ive promised too many people that i wouldnt..*growls* damn people...
well...hmm..um...josh and jason and sam are so much fun to hang out with sometimes...especially when theyre a bit drunk....lol...we went to the movies...friday...yeah that was it....and they were acting like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force(great show) but it was really really funny..."unFRICKING believeabl" lol...so funny..but whtever...i really wish they would pick a time for me and kylee to RP with them cause i really wanna learn...but...ahhh whtever...im really bored...
so..my mom says she got an appointment for me on Tuesday...though i thought she was just gonna try to get me out doing things..but *shrugs* i dunno...but im not sure ill be able to talk to the person..cause i have a hard enough time opening up..and i dunno..yeah....hmm...
really really bored....lalalalala...i havent been able to get the circus song out of my head all day and its been driving me insane....ahhhh...stupid song...*sighs* well..whtever cause now im listening to a cd and itll be gone soon...and im just babbling now cause im bored and have no one to talk to!! yay so much fun!!!!
yeah..right..im sure im annoying whoever reads this now so im gonna stop talking and maybe go yell at myself of something...
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Once again im recignoizing that fact that im a fucking selfish bitch(and that i cant spell either).....my 2 (or maybe its just 1 i dunno bout one of em but whtever) only real friends probably feel like killing themselves as much-or more- then i do...and fuck if i dont care...but i feel really useless and i dont know how to help...and then i fucking go and pour all my shit on them...looking for comfort from them cause it seems they are the only ones who care...and im sure i do no good to how they feel about themselves...or life..or anything..
im really just useless most of the time i reckon..im not good for anything...i sit here being bored most of the time cause i have no life and i have no one of helpping my friends...i cant do anything...i cant do anything right anyways....ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! i swear i think im fucking cursed or something!!! again no one is on when i wanna talk!!!!!!! wht the fuck is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhh!!! Fuck im going insane over here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhh!!!!!
i feel really sad for some reason...yet i have no idea wht the reason is...ive just suddenly been overcome with sadness...and loneliness...(wonder where that one came from..*rolls her eyes*)
alright so i have some people who do tell me im a good writer and all...but then someone comes along and tells me whts wrong with my stories and i really agree with them most of the time...and then i realize that my stuff is shit..and *SCREAMS REALLY LOUD* IM DONE NOW BEFORE I SCREAM SOME MORE!!!
im really just useless most of the time i reckon..im not good for anything...i sit here being bored most of the time cause i have no life and i have no one of helpping my friends...i cant do anything...i cant do anything right anyways....ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! i swear i think im fucking cursed or something!!! again no one is on when i wanna talk!!!!!!! wht the fuck is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhh!!! Fuck im going insane over here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhh!!!!!
i feel really sad for some reason...yet i have no idea wht the reason is...ive just suddenly been overcome with sadness...and loneliness...(wonder where that one came from..*rolls her eyes*)
alright so i have some people who do tell me im a good writer and all...but then someone comes along and tells me whts wrong with my stories and i really agree with them most of the time...and then i realize that my stuff is shit..and *SCREAMS REALLY LOUD* IM DONE NOW BEFORE I SCREAM SOME MORE!!!
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
NOTE: OKAY JUST TO WARN ANYONE WHO IS ODD ENOUGH TO READ MY SHIT....THIS IS GONNA BE A REALLY LONG POST...SO JUST BE PREPARED...
love is odd isnt it?? it makes ya do crazy things and feel crazy ways....jerrad thought he was in love with me when we were together...and if u really thought that then how the hell could he have been such an ass to me?? right so i dont really beleive that he ever did...i said it back to him once or twice, though im not sure if i ever loved him either...we both may have liked each other a whole lot, but i dont think wht either of us felt was love.
there is too many adj. to desicribe love, it can hurt, it can make u happy, it can cause pain, it can cause joy and so on and so forth..many people take it in their own way...thinking it either a grand thing to experiance or something horrid to stay away from...usually people base wht they think about it after their past experiances...and i have been hurt in the past yes, but im not sure if i think love is a really BAD thing...but im not sure if its a totally GOOD thing either...
im still not totally sure if i believe in soulmates or not..im still trying to figure it out...a lotta of people ive asked said that they beleive in soulmates...or something like soulmates anyways...i think i might to some point...becuase im the 4 (i think) fantasy stories ive worked on..the main character usually finds their true love...their soulmate..that is probably getting old...reading about people findin love and being happy and shit..but whtever...it works when i write it...
i think some people may thinks it odd in wht i beleive...that i beleive in god and not heaven and hell...that i hate religion...that i like a lot of stuff to do with wicca...but ya know..i dont get y..they beleive wht they want....y must they think its odd that i beleive wht i beleive? kylee says that i dont know enough about differnt religions to decided wht i beleive and wht i dont...but i am happy with wht i beleive...and its taken me a long time to start beleive in God again...and i dont think anything of wht anyone or anything will tell me will make me like religion..so stop fucking jumping down my throat about it and trying to condemn me to hell like u have josh cause u cant cause i dont even believe in hell!!!
i like to talk about books...lol..odd eh? *is a loser and knows it* but...yes i do...i like to talk bout fantasy books...and the idea of magic and stuff...i like trying to explain the newest book i started to people..lol...i tried explaining it to rachit the best i could...but i still dont think he understands it...lol...i like to talk about just writing too...how to write and shit like that...*is really a loser and knows it*
my fave books are the Sword of Truth series, which im sure ive mentioned before...and i just started reading a new series (finally...i couldnt seem to concentrate on books for a while) its the Dragon Prince series by Melanie Rawn and its really good..im on the last book in the series, granted there are only 3 books but *shrugs* anyways...the point to that was..that...no one will ever read them to talk about them with me...josh has read the SoT series..but hes always too busy to talk with me...kylee has promised she'll read SoT eventually..but i highly doubt it...*sighs* and then...all my "friends" IRL...they dont read that kinda thing...books are either too hard or too long for them...lol..they wouldnt understand it...and then...hmmmm i dunno..my online friends...ive asked rachit to read SoT but he probably wont..not that i blame him..his life is kinda crazy sometimes it seems..and tram....hmmm...never actually asked him....and...there isnt really anyone else...so..yeah...
since i havent been able to write lately, kylee gave me a list of writing prompts..ive done one so far...and its kinda okay..but i posted it on FE and this guy found a lot wrong with it...so..yeah..its probably shit...
The story:
The tip of the long sword glittered in the bright sun. He could hear his own breath hot in his ear; it was the only sound it seemed. Everything else had gone dead silent around him. All the people stared dumbfounded at what the Prince had just done. The blood was flowing from the body in front of him and all he could do was gawk at the lifeless form. The Prince stood frozen, not believe what he had just done any more then all the people who were standing around him in the hall.
There was a loud clatter as his sword fell from his hands and then he took off at a run. Trying to escape what had just happened, trying to escape the scene, trying to escape his life. He ran as fast as he could, not looking where he was going for tears blinded his sight.
The Prince heard someone scream as he ran into the girl, both of them falling to the wood floor. He stayed on the floor, not daring to move as the girl stood up, looking frightened.
“Oh, my Lord, I am sorry, I did not see you. Please forgive me.” The girl in front of him said in a rush. Some lowly servant. He thought to himself as he waved it off with his hand.
“It was not your fault, I was not watching where I was going.” He told her as he stood up again, taking no notice of the tears running down his face. “Go.” The servant girl hurried away, thankful His Lord did not punish her in any way.
The Prince stood in that spot for many moments, trying to stop his crying; feeling like a foolish little child again. They wouldn’t seem to stop though; he brushed them away violently and then started to walk, moving farther away from the hall where he had just killed a man.
Where I just killed a man. Sweet Goddess I just killed a poor helpless man. He missed a step at this thought, but kept going, walking slowly towards his own chambers. The Prince shook with fear as he neared his chambers. When his father got news of what he had just done he wasn’t sure what he would do to his only son, his heir, but The Prince knew it would not be good.
The guys reply:
Bear in mind that since this is not a complete story, there isn't much I can do to help you in terms of plot, setting, or any of those other big-picture items. I can talk about conflict, so I'll do that first. Also bear in mind that my critiques tend to come across as demands (aka You WILL do this if you want it to look good!), but remember that I offer suggestions and only suggestions. Granted, I don't offer suggestions in the belief that they are wrong, but your style is your style, and far be it from me to attempt to convert you to my way of thinking. Finally, bear in mind that I am thorough. I begin at "leave no stone unturned." Thus, my review will look daunting. Appearances can be deceiving.
So, without further ado:
So far, we have one implicit and two explicit conflicts. There is the external conflict between the prince and the man he killed, the internal conflict as the prince feels the repercussions of his actions in killing the man, and an implied conflict between him and his servants, as seen in the way he looks down upon them.
I like the way it starts out. Already, we have a murdering, pompous prince with a shred of decency. I personally want to know if the decency wins out or not, or if he's held responsible for his actions or not (after all, he has yet to be arrested by the palace guard). He's already running from his problems, and that whispers, "Adventure. . . ." in my ear.
As to the more superficial aspects, such as grammar and description and all that:
Since the tip of the long sword is glittering in the sun, it must be daylight out. But isn't the prince in some kind of hall? For that matter, didn't he just shove his glittering sword into some poor sod's chest? A sword doesn't glitter in sunlight indoors unless there are windows, and that only at sunrise or sunset. Bloody swords don't glitter at all; they gleam, at best. That, in and of itself, could be useful to you; a wet sword, gleaming red, blending with the dying sun can be a powerful symbol if you can associate it with the death of both the innocent man and the prince's former way of life. Add to that the idea that maybe this prince was using a shoddily-made decorative sword, and then you could add the broken-sword symbolism to it as well--and that all in the first sentence.
You say that the sound of his hot breath is the only sound, and then you say that everything else was silent. Redundancy is boring; drop the "it was the only sound it seemed." Don't join the "Everything else was silent" bit to the previous sentence with a semicolon, though; the idea here is to have an oppressive silence--the kind where you can feel your heart beating loudly, a la Poe's The Telltale Heart. A significant pause (like what a period and new sentence gives) is useful here.
Enclose dumbfounded in commas; it is technically an appositive (when you interrupt the flow of the sentence to insert some extra detail). You may wish to change "all the people" to "everyone"; shocking, action-packed prose like this needs short and to-the-point words to get it across effectively.
I'm not sure that it is a good idea to introduce this guy as a prince this far into the paragraph, and for that matter, prince is a common noun. Don't capitalise it. While the use of pronouns such as in, "His sword gleamed," and all that is nice for an element of mystery, it amounts to little more than glitter to dash that air of mystery two sentences later. Either wait at least until he runs into the girl to reveal his royalty, or let it out right away. This way, you can use him as the object of everyone else's stare and thus preserve the flow of your thought.
Your use of clues to the fight scene (which is still a mystery) is quite good. Your readers are using this information to piece together what happened. Since blood is oozing from the body, he is recently dead. Since he's not moving, he died quickly. Since the prince and everyone else are gawking, this wasn't a duel; this was a killing. The reader is beginning to wonder if this prince is some sort of crime-of-passion murderer, and possibly not justified in his actions. This is very exciting, and the mark of a good hook.
I think, though, that your imagery could use a few touch-ups. Is the blood flowing? The only way blood can get out of the corpse now is by gravity or residual pressure. The driving force of life behind it is gone. Flow is generally associated with life. Ooze is more fitting with a body whose heart is no longer beating. In addition, lifeless form is a bit redundant. Use pronouns.
I'll presume that using believe instead of believing is a typo, but I can't know for certain.
". . . All the people who were standing around him in the hall" is a very long phrase which means "everyone else." Redundancy is better than verbosity. What I mean by this is that it is better to say something twice than to spend a long time trying to say something else, i.e. "any more than any other person there." You will probably want to change from a plural "all the people" to a singular "everyone" or "any other." There's a certain psychology to it. Saying that the group is appalled is less powerful than saying every individual is appalled, because one always expects there to be a dissenting voice in a group. It's part of the mentality of democracy. To say that every individual is appalled gives weight to it because it is a unanimous "decision."
When the prince takes off at a run, don't stop to get everything just so. He's literally dropped everything and taken off running, so you should, too. Get rid of the then and make certain he's actively running. Since it is part of the same thought, the fragment about trying to escape should be joined to it with a long dash.
Here, I encountered something confusing. The prince is trying to escape the scene and what had just happened. Aren't they the same thing? If not, I'm missing something, because at this point in the story, what had just happened is the only thing that has happened at all. What of the escaping his life? Is that to say that he is suicidal (but has not the nerve to fall on his own sword, or wants to preserve something of the family honour, etc. etc.) and just killed a man so he'd be executed, or is it to say that he doesn't want to be a prince? If it is the former, then you're setting yourself up for a very short story. If it is the latter, then why does he later look down so far upon the "lowly" servant? Is it because he doesn't know any other life and is trapped in a personal Hell, or is there something else which we haven't gotten to in the story yet?
Since we don't know who the girl is, it should be a girl. Since you say that someone screams as he runs into her, it seems to imply that it is someone else screaming. Make certain that she is doing the screaming as she's being run into. Also make certain that he takes them to the floor, rather than stepping out and letting them fall on their own. The way it is put gives a sense of detachment from a situation to which the reader should be very much attached.
Your dialogue here is good. She should probably bow, or do whatever it is the servants do when around royalty at this point, and probably offer a hand to help the prince up (which he can wave off in the next sentence).
Thoughts, if they are thought directly, should be italicised, but otherwise run like spoken dialogue: Some lowly servant, he thought to himself as he waved it off with his hand. Further, since it has little to do with what the girl said, and since it is, in effect, the prince's reply, it should be in its own paragraph. Since his spoken words are part of that reply, they should be in the same paragraph as the thought.
Use "the tears" instead of "they." You're a few sentences away from the last time you said "tears," so you need to "renew" it, so to speak. Get rid of the then as he starts to walk. I've noticed that you use then quite a bit; watch out for that in the future.
Italicise direct thoughts, as I mentioned earlier. Put in a comma after "Sweet Goddess" and "poor" as well.
If you could get rid of one of the references to the prince's chambers, good. Further, you make a characterisation shift in the last sentence. "He" refers to the king, not to the prince, and this is not in keeping with your current trend.
yeah so see? Shit right?? yeah thats wht i thought....
i would really like more people to critique my stories though..cause i would really like help becuase i really do wanna improve my writing...cause if i do suck at guitar when i start the lessons this summer...i have nothing left like i want to do someday that i wouldnt suck at...but...sadly....people never comment on my damn stories cause people are fucking jerks!!! *takes a breath* wooo had a little outburt there sorry...but...yeah...people are jerks...they all write so much better and draw so much better then me...and not just the ones who have been doing it for years and years..even some people my own age who have been doing it about as long as i have...theyre better then me...and i dont get it..cause dammit if i dont try really hard to be good...i have lots and lots of stories in my file and yes most suck..okay all suck..but the more recent ones dont suck as much cause they are fantasy..and i totally wandered away from my point and now i dont even remember wht the damn point was...
i swear that its true that everytime i feel like talking to someone...no one is on for me to talk to...*growls* but rachit emailed me so yay!!!!
i really think the world hates me....im not sure exactly wht i mean by the world..i dont actually mean the people of the world (though im sure many of them hate me too) i mean more like...just...i dunno..i know wht i mean but i cant explain it..the world and god just have something against me i think..dunno y...ive never done anything really horribly bad...*shrugs* maybe gods trying to punish me for those few years their when i didnt beleive in god and studied wicca...hmmm..i dunno..thats not horrible bad is it?? i really dont get wht i ever did though...ive never commited any crimes or anything...i swear...i just dont get it...
im really excited to get to learn to play the guitar this summer...itll be great cause ive been wanting to learn for years and years!!
a lot of people tell me that ill be happy when i WANT to be happy...and i think thats shit..cuase yes i really wanna be happy..but am i no?? and i do want help...if i didnt y would i have gone and told my mom i was depressed...which was one of the hardest things ive done...and if u want me not to be depressed anymore and u wanna help...u cant just fucking give up on me!!!
people tell me that i should try changing to get myself to be happy...and ive tried to change...ive tried making new friends...ive tried changing my attitude..and i still do try to keep a positive attitude..its just hard sometimes...
people say they understand me...mostly my sister...she says she understands wht im 'going through' and wants to help and shit (but if u want to like ive said dont fucking give up on me) and...when ur really really depressed and feel like killing urself most of the time its hard to think anyone can understand wht ur 'going through' and wht u feel...if when u were supposedly depressed and u didnt feel that way..then i doubt u were really depressed...
i wish i was good at poetry..cause poetry is more bout getting ur feelings and emotions out..and i think it would help me a little...but as it is..i suck at it..and yeah..i just suck at it...
it seems that i always have the main character in my story a girl..and shes always pretty much the same...a beasically depressed girl who means nothing to anyone...is lonely...feels empty and like something is missing...wants to go on an adventure...and yes eventually ends up savin the world..but i realized that...i make the main characters...basically reflect me..i gues..cause im pretty much everything i just described there..except the saving the world part...which i highly doubt ill ever do...i really wanna live in a fantasy world though..that would be really sweet....hmmmm..i am a bit crazy me thinks....
well...i still dont feel good..my eyes hurt and i have a headache and my back hurts like hell and i cant fucking breath because of my fucking ass allergies.....im also really tired..i couldnt sleep again last night..i dont think i fell asleep till bout 2:30 maybe..and that means i got bout 5 hours of sleep....which wouldnt have been so bad if i hadnt have had to get up and go to school and talk to people..but sadly i did...and it just tired me out even more it seems...
i really wanna learn how to use a sword..i really want a sword...and i wanna learn archery too...but i know i probably never will..for one thing...i have no money...another...i cant seem to find any place to give me sword lessons...josh said that if i found some for us to take he would buy me a sword...but i cant find one..but yeah i think i got my mom to crack and she might buy me a sword this summer...
i feel bad cause it seems like shes gonna be speanding lots money on me this summer...her plan is to get me out of the house more and to do that..im doing things...like guitar lessons...some cheer stunt thing with kylee (not by my choice) i might be taking an art class...im getting a sixflags season pass to go with kylee and amy..who already have theirs..and surely we'll be going up to wisconsin a lott...we also may be seeing alex and them...which would be kewl cause i havent seen her in a while..but i want to do it somewhere besides minnesota..cause she works and has a bf and i get the feeling me and kylee would just sit at her house bored while she was away at work or with her bf...so..yeah...and then we're going on vacation somewhere too...
but my mom said that all the stuff shes getting for me and everything is less then having me see someone...so..yeah..i guess itll work...but i still feel kinda bad cause we dont have much money in the first place...but eh...
damn this is a really long post...lol...i really am bored..and really have no one to talk to....and felt like getting some shit out apperently...wow...
sometimes i get the feeling im really bossy...hmmm
i have problems with stories and art...im very specific in wht i like i guess....and very...hmm..i dunno..but...i have to have things just so in writing..not mine really (lol uve seen how bad i suck) but with other peoples writing...like if im reading something and i feel the author doesnt go in depth enough with something (mainly characters) ill tell them to fix it...and i have problems with puncuation too....i feel kinda bitchy when telling people stuff about their writing..like when i read my sisters book....i told her to fix a lot of stuff when just any other person would have been like 'wow this is a great book!' ....yet no im crazy and am not like that...*rolls her eyes*
with art...i dont like a lot of art...i love fantasy art...hence the reason im on elfwood so much...but i dont like much besides fantasy and sci-fi art...i mean..i know whts good and everything..i can tell when someone is obvisouly a great artist..but i dont always like the picture or drawing or painting..mostly just when its fantasy....see again...im crazy...
im really so bored at the moment..but whtever...screw it..
*sighs* well...i guess ive written enough...thats a really long post...and im sorry if u felt compeled(sp?) to read it all...i guess im off to try to write again...hope it works this time...
love is odd isnt it?? it makes ya do crazy things and feel crazy ways....jerrad thought he was in love with me when we were together...and if u really thought that then how the hell could he have been such an ass to me?? right so i dont really beleive that he ever did...i said it back to him once or twice, though im not sure if i ever loved him either...we both may have liked each other a whole lot, but i dont think wht either of us felt was love.
there is too many adj. to desicribe love, it can hurt, it can make u happy, it can cause pain, it can cause joy and so on and so forth..many people take it in their own way...thinking it either a grand thing to experiance or something horrid to stay away from...usually people base wht they think about it after their past experiances...and i have been hurt in the past yes, but im not sure if i think love is a really BAD thing...but im not sure if its a totally GOOD thing either...
im still not totally sure if i believe in soulmates or not..im still trying to figure it out...a lotta of people ive asked said that they beleive in soulmates...or something like soulmates anyways...i think i might to some point...becuase im the 4 (i think) fantasy stories ive worked on..the main character usually finds their true love...their soulmate..that is probably getting old...reading about people findin love and being happy and shit..but whtever...it works when i write it...
i think some people may thinks it odd in wht i beleive...that i beleive in god and not heaven and hell...that i hate religion...that i like a lot of stuff to do with wicca...but ya know..i dont get y..they beleive wht they want....y must they think its odd that i beleive wht i beleive? kylee says that i dont know enough about differnt religions to decided wht i beleive and wht i dont...but i am happy with wht i beleive...and its taken me a long time to start beleive in God again...and i dont think anything of wht anyone or anything will tell me will make me like religion..so stop fucking jumping down my throat about it and trying to condemn me to hell like u have josh cause u cant cause i dont even believe in hell!!!
i like to talk about books...lol..odd eh? *is a loser and knows it* but...yes i do...i like to talk bout fantasy books...and the idea of magic and stuff...i like trying to explain the newest book i started to people..lol...i tried explaining it to rachit the best i could...but i still dont think he understands it...lol...i like to talk about just writing too...how to write and shit like that...*is really a loser and knows it*
my fave books are the Sword of Truth series, which im sure ive mentioned before...and i just started reading a new series (finally...i couldnt seem to concentrate on books for a while) its the Dragon Prince series by Melanie Rawn and its really good..im on the last book in the series, granted there are only 3 books but *shrugs* anyways...the point to that was..that...no one will ever read them to talk about them with me...josh has read the SoT series..but hes always too busy to talk with me...kylee has promised she'll read SoT eventually..but i highly doubt it...*sighs* and then...all my "friends" IRL...they dont read that kinda thing...books are either too hard or too long for them...lol..they wouldnt understand it...and then...hmmmm i dunno..my online friends...ive asked rachit to read SoT but he probably wont..not that i blame him..his life is kinda crazy sometimes it seems..and tram....hmmm...never actually asked him....and...there isnt really anyone else...so..yeah...
since i havent been able to write lately, kylee gave me a list of writing prompts..ive done one so far...and its kinda okay..but i posted it on FE and this guy found a lot wrong with it...so..yeah..its probably shit...
The story:
The tip of the long sword glittered in the bright sun. He could hear his own breath hot in his ear; it was the only sound it seemed. Everything else had gone dead silent around him. All the people stared dumbfounded at what the Prince had just done. The blood was flowing from the body in front of him and all he could do was gawk at the lifeless form. The Prince stood frozen, not believe what he had just done any more then all the people who were standing around him in the hall.
There was a loud clatter as his sword fell from his hands and then he took off at a run. Trying to escape what had just happened, trying to escape the scene, trying to escape his life. He ran as fast as he could, not looking where he was going for tears blinded his sight.
The Prince heard someone scream as he ran into the girl, both of them falling to the wood floor. He stayed on the floor, not daring to move as the girl stood up, looking frightened.
“Oh, my Lord, I am sorry, I did not see you. Please forgive me.” The girl in front of him said in a rush. Some lowly servant. He thought to himself as he waved it off with his hand.
“It was not your fault, I was not watching where I was going.” He told her as he stood up again, taking no notice of the tears running down his face. “Go.” The servant girl hurried away, thankful His Lord did not punish her in any way.
The Prince stood in that spot for many moments, trying to stop his crying; feeling like a foolish little child again. They wouldn’t seem to stop though; he brushed them away violently and then started to walk, moving farther away from the hall where he had just killed a man.
Where I just killed a man. Sweet Goddess I just killed a poor helpless man. He missed a step at this thought, but kept going, walking slowly towards his own chambers. The Prince shook with fear as he neared his chambers. When his father got news of what he had just done he wasn’t sure what he would do to his only son, his heir, but The Prince knew it would not be good.
The guys reply:
Bear in mind that since this is not a complete story, there isn't much I can do to help you in terms of plot, setting, or any of those other big-picture items. I can talk about conflict, so I'll do that first. Also bear in mind that my critiques tend to come across as demands (aka You WILL do this if you want it to look good!), but remember that I offer suggestions and only suggestions. Granted, I don't offer suggestions in the belief that they are wrong, but your style is your style, and far be it from me to attempt to convert you to my way of thinking. Finally, bear in mind that I am thorough. I begin at "leave no stone unturned." Thus, my review will look daunting. Appearances can be deceiving.
So, without further ado:
So far, we have one implicit and two explicit conflicts. There is the external conflict between the prince and the man he killed, the internal conflict as the prince feels the repercussions of his actions in killing the man, and an implied conflict between him and his servants, as seen in the way he looks down upon them.
I like the way it starts out. Already, we have a murdering, pompous prince with a shred of decency. I personally want to know if the decency wins out or not, or if he's held responsible for his actions or not (after all, he has yet to be arrested by the palace guard). He's already running from his problems, and that whispers, "Adventure. . . ." in my ear.
As to the more superficial aspects, such as grammar and description and all that:
Since the tip of the long sword is glittering in the sun, it must be daylight out. But isn't the prince in some kind of hall? For that matter, didn't he just shove his glittering sword into some poor sod's chest? A sword doesn't glitter in sunlight indoors unless there are windows, and that only at sunrise or sunset. Bloody swords don't glitter at all; they gleam, at best. That, in and of itself, could be useful to you; a wet sword, gleaming red, blending with the dying sun can be a powerful symbol if you can associate it with the death of both the innocent man and the prince's former way of life. Add to that the idea that maybe this prince was using a shoddily-made decorative sword, and then you could add the broken-sword symbolism to it as well--and that all in the first sentence.
You say that the sound of his hot breath is the only sound, and then you say that everything else was silent. Redundancy is boring; drop the "it was the only sound it seemed." Don't join the "Everything else was silent" bit to the previous sentence with a semicolon, though; the idea here is to have an oppressive silence--the kind where you can feel your heart beating loudly, a la Poe's The Telltale Heart. A significant pause (like what a period and new sentence gives) is useful here.
Enclose dumbfounded in commas; it is technically an appositive (when you interrupt the flow of the sentence to insert some extra detail). You may wish to change "all the people" to "everyone"; shocking, action-packed prose like this needs short and to-the-point words to get it across effectively.
I'm not sure that it is a good idea to introduce this guy as a prince this far into the paragraph, and for that matter, prince is a common noun. Don't capitalise it. While the use of pronouns such as in, "His sword gleamed," and all that is nice for an element of mystery, it amounts to little more than glitter to dash that air of mystery two sentences later. Either wait at least until he runs into the girl to reveal his royalty, or let it out right away. This way, you can use him as the object of everyone else's stare and thus preserve the flow of your thought.
Your use of clues to the fight scene (which is still a mystery) is quite good. Your readers are using this information to piece together what happened. Since blood is oozing from the body, he is recently dead. Since he's not moving, he died quickly. Since the prince and everyone else are gawking, this wasn't a duel; this was a killing. The reader is beginning to wonder if this prince is some sort of crime-of-passion murderer, and possibly not justified in his actions. This is very exciting, and the mark of a good hook.
I think, though, that your imagery could use a few touch-ups. Is the blood flowing? The only way blood can get out of the corpse now is by gravity or residual pressure. The driving force of life behind it is gone. Flow is generally associated with life. Ooze is more fitting with a body whose heart is no longer beating. In addition, lifeless form is a bit redundant. Use pronouns.
I'll presume that using believe instead of believing is a typo, but I can't know for certain.
". . . All the people who were standing around him in the hall" is a very long phrase which means "everyone else." Redundancy is better than verbosity. What I mean by this is that it is better to say something twice than to spend a long time trying to say something else, i.e. "any more than any other person there." You will probably want to change from a plural "all the people" to a singular "everyone" or "any other." There's a certain psychology to it. Saying that the group is appalled is less powerful than saying every individual is appalled, because one always expects there to be a dissenting voice in a group. It's part of the mentality of democracy. To say that every individual is appalled gives weight to it because it is a unanimous "decision."
When the prince takes off at a run, don't stop to get everything just so. He's literally dropped everything and taken off running, so you should, too. Get rid of the then and make certain he's actively running. Since it is part of the same thought, the fragment about trying to escape should be joined to it with a long dash.
Here, I encountered something confusing. The prince is trying to escape the scene and what had just happened. Aren't they the same thing? If not, I'm missing something, because at this point in the story, what had just happened is the only thing that has happened at all. What of the escaping his life? Is that to say that he is suicidal (but has not the nerve to fall on his own sword, or wants to preserve something of the family honour, etc. etc.) and just killed a man so he'd be executed, or is it to say that he doesn't want to be a prince? If it is the former, then you're setting yourself up for a very short story. If it is the latter, then why does he later look down so far upon the "lowly" servant? Is it because he doesn't know any other life and is trapped in a personal Hell, or is there something else which we haven't gotten to in the story yet?
Since we don't know who the girl is, it should be a girl. Since you say that someone screams as he runs into her, it seems to imply that it is someone else screaming. Make certain that she is doing the screaming as she's being run into. Also make certain that he takes them to the floor, rather than stepping out and letting them fall on their own. The way it is put gives a sense of detachment from a situation to which the reader should be very much attached.
Your dialogue here is good. She should probably bow, or do whatever it is the servants do when around royalty at this point, and probably offer a hand to help the prince up (which he can wave off in the next sentence).
Thoughts, if they are thought directly, should be italicised, but otherwise run like spoken dialogue: Some lowly servant, he thought to himself as he waved it off with his hand. Further, since it has little to do with what the girl said, and since it is, in effect, the prince's reply, it should be in its own paragraph. Since his spoken words are part of that reply, they should be in the same paragraph as the thought.
Use "the tears" instead of "they." You're a few sentences away from the last time you said "tears," so you need to "renew" it, so to speak. Get rid of the then as he starts to walk. I've noticed that you use then quite a bit; watch out for that in the future.
Italicise direct thoughts, as I mentioned earlier. Put in a comma after "Sweet Goddess" and "poor" as well.
If you could get rid of one of the references to the prince's chambers, good. Further, you make a characterisation shift in the last sentence. "He" refers to the king, not to the prince, and this is not in keeping with your current trend.
yeah so see? Shit right?? yeah thats wht i thought....
i would really like more people to critique my stories though..cause i would really like help becuase i really do wanna improve my writing...cause if i do suck at guitar when i start the lessons this summer...i have nothing left like i want to do someday that i wouldnt suck at...but...sadly....people never comment on my damn stories cause people are fucking jerks!!! *takes a breath* wooo had a little outburt there sorry...but...yeah...people are jerks...they all write so much better and draw so much better then me...and not just the ones who have been doing it for years and years..even some people my own age who have been doing it about as long as i have...theyre better then me...and i dont get it..cause dammit if i dont try really hard to be good...i have lots and lots of stories in my file and yes most suck..okay all suck..but the more recent ones dont suck as much cause they are fantasy..and i totally wandered away from my point and now i dont even remember wht the damn point was...
i swear that its true that everytime i feel like talking to someone...no one is on for me to talk to...*growls* but rachit emailed me so yay!!!!
i really think the world hates me....im not sure exactly wht i mean by the world..i dont actually mean the people of the world (though im sure many of them hate me too) i mean more like...just...i dunno..i know wht i mean but i cant explain it..the world and god just have something against me i think..dunno y...ive never done anything really horribly bad...*shrugs* maybe gods trying to punish me for those few years their when i didnt beleive in god and studied wicca...hmmm..i dunno..thats not horrible bad is it?? i really dont get wht i ever did though...ive never commited any crimes or anything...i swear...i just dont get it...
im really excited to get to learn to play the guitar this summer...itll be great cause ive been wanting to learn for years and years!!
a lot of people tell me that ill be happy when i WANT to be happy...and i think thats shit..cuase yes i really wanna be happy..but am i no?? and i do want help...if i didnt y would i have gone and told my mom i was depressed...which was one of the hardest things ive done...and if u want me not to be depressed anymore and u wanna help...u cant just fucking give up on me!!!
people tell me that i should try changing to get myself to be happy...and ive tried to change...ive tried making new friends...ive tried changing my attitude..and i still do try to keep a positive attitude..its just hard sometimes...
people say they understand me...mostly my sister...she says she understands wht im 'going through' and wants to help and shit (but if u want to like ive said dont fucking give up on me) and...when ur really really depressed and feel like killing urself most of the time its hard to think anyone can understand wht ur 'going through' and wht u feel...if when u were supposedly depressed and u didnt feel that way..then i doubt u were really depressed...
i wish i was good at poetry..cause poetry is more bout getting ur feelings and emotions out..and i think it would help me a little...but as it is..i suck at it..and yeah..i just suck at it...
it seems that i always have the main character in my story a girl..and shes always pretty much the same...a beasically depressed girl who means nothing to anyone...is lonely...feels empty and like something is missing...wants to go on an adventure...and yes eventually ends up savin the world..but i realized that...i make the main characters...basically reflect me..i gues..cause im pretty much everything i just described there..except the saving the world part...which i highly doubt ill ever do...i really wanna live in a fantasy world though..that would be really sweet....hmmmm..i am a bit crazy me thinks....
well...i still dont feel good..my eyes hurt and i have a headache and my back hurts like hell and i cant fucking breath because of my fucking ass allergies.....im also really tired..i couldnt sleep again last night..i dont think i fell asleep till bout 2:30 maybe..and that means i got bout 5 hours of sleep....which wouldnt have been so bad if i hadnt have had to get up and go to school and talk to people..but sadly i did...and it just tired me out even more it seems...
i really wanna learn how to use a sword..i really want a sword...and i wanna learn archery too...but i know i probably never will..for one thing...i have no money...another...i cant seem to find any place to give me sword lessons...josh said that if i found some for us to take he would buy me a sword...but i cant find one..but yeah i think i got my mom to crack and she might buy me a sword this summer...
i feel bad cause it seems like shes gonna be speanding lots money on me this summer...her plan is to get me out of the house more and to do that..im doing things...like guitar lessons...some cheer stunt thing with kylee (not by my choice) i might be taking an art class...im getting a sixflags season pass to go with kylee and amy..who already have theirs..and surely we'll be going up to wisconsin a lott...we also may be seeing alex and them...which would be kewl cause i havent seen her in a while..but i want to do it somewhere besides minnesota..cause she works and has a bf and i get the feeling me and kylee would just sit at her house bored while she was away at work or with her bf...so..yeah...and then we're going on vacation somewhere too...
but my mom said that all the stuff shes getting for me and everything is less then having me see someone...so..yeah..i guess itll work...but i still feel kinda bad cause we dont have much money in the first place...but eh...
damn this is a really long post...lol...i really am bored..and really have no one to talk to....and felt like getting some shit out apperently...wow...
sometimes i get the feeling im really bossy...hmmm
i have problems with stories and art...im very specific in wht i like i guess....and very...hmm..i dunno..but...i have to have things just so in writing..not mine really (lol uve seen how bad i suck) but with other peoples writing...like if im reading something and i feel the author doesnt go in depth enough with something (mainly characters) ill tell them to fix it...and i have problems with puncuation too....i feel kinda bitchy when telling people stuff about their writing..like when i read my sisters book....i told her to fix a lot of stuff when just any other person would have been like 'wow this is a great book!' ....yet no im crazy and am not like that...*rolls her eyes*
with art...i dont like a lot of art...i love fantasy art...hence the reason im on elfwood so much...but i dont like much besides fantasy and sci-fi art...i mean..i know whts good and everything..i can tell when someone is obvisouly a great artist..but i dont always like the picture or drawing or painting..mostly just when its fantasy....see again...im crazy...
im really so bored at the moment..but whtever...screw it..
*sighs* well...i guess ive written enough...thats a really long post...and im sorry if u felt compeled(sp?) to read it all...i guess im off to try to write again...hope it works this time...
Sunday, May 30, 2004
The angels cry tonight
As the rain washed that lonely place
From their eyes
And softly as she said
You know our hearts will never get
Out alive
She made no sound
Then good bye
She said love don't call me again
I never want to cry like this
Die like this
No more favors my old friend
I never want to cry like this
Die like this
And so we danced alone
But pain is always so betrayed
With our eyes
But I know now
On hearts the faithless can't rely
Do dreams make no sound
As they die
(chorus)
Remember the nights
By the river side
No secrets from our sins
And the world would not subside
And the worst thing
Is knowing
That I'll survive
~Die like this- Fuel~
Never thought I'd be this way
Hung on every word you say
Scars that you gave to me
I earned all too eagerly
[Chorus:]
Cause down inside of you
Deep inside of you
Down inside of you
Is all of heaven and hell
Everyday is all the same
Take the pleasure with the pain
Things that you put me through
Never is enough for you
[Chorus]
So I'll fly
Find another life
I know somewhere it's right
So why can't I forget you
[Chorus]
~Down inside of you- Fuel~
Everyday you're on my mind
Pain is feeling passing time
But if she found out about you she would die
And if I have to live without you so would I
So I thirst for the water
I find myself wanting now
[Chorus:]
So I'm running away to you
I cannot escape you
To feel your touch
The faith you prove
I'm running away to you
Hearts are never made of stone
Pain will cut you to the bone
But I know that holding you is all so wrong
So tonight's the last we'll ever be alone
So I thirst for the water
I find myself wanting now
[Chorus]
Turn around, fill my eyes with you
All senses to commit
Till every thing's all right
~ Running away- Fuel~
As the rain washed that lonely place
From their eyes
And softly as she said
You know our hearts will never get
Out alive
She made no sound
Then good bye
She said love don't call me again
I never want to cry like this
Die like this
No more favors my old friend
I never want to cry like this
Die like this
And so we danced alone
But pain is always so betrayed
With our eyes
But I know now
On hearts the faithless can't rely
Do dreams make no sound
As they die
(chorus)
Remember the nights
By the river side
No secrets from our sins
And the world would not subside
And the worst thing
Is knowing
That I'll survive
~Die like this- Fuel~
Never thought I'd be this way
Hung on every word you say
Scars that you gave to me
I earned all too eagerly
[Chorus:]
Cause down inside of you
Deep inside of you
Down inside of you
Is all of heaven and hell
Everyday is all the same
Take the pleasure with the pain
Things that you put me through
Never is enough for you
[Chorus]
So I'll fly
Find another life
I know somewhere it's right
So why can't I forget you
[Chorus]
~Down inside of you- Fuel~
Everyday you're on my mind
Pain is feeling passing time
But if she found out about you she would die
And if I have to live without you so would I
So I thirst for the water
I find myself wanting now
[Chorus:]
So I'm running away to you
I cannot escape you
To feel your touch
The faith you prove
I'm running away to you
Hearts are never made of stone
Pain will cut you to the bone
But I know that holding you is all so wrong
So tonight's the last we'll ever be alone
So I thirst for the water
I find myself wanting now
[Chorus]
Turn around, fill my eyes with you
All senses to commit
Till every thing's all right
~ Running away- Fuel~
Friday, May 28, 2004
y is it that whenever i want to talk no one is there for me to talk to? tis very frustrating...i really really really wanna talk...
i had actaully decided i wasnt gonna post for a while the other day, but im really bored and like i said i have no one to talk to...
so kylee still says that its not right that i can believe in god and not heaven and hell..she says it just doesnt work..and i dont get how it doesnt...cause in reincarnation(sp?) and most religions with that, there are gods, i think its usually more then one...im not sure...but i think it works that i beleive in god and not heaven and hell right?? right??
i really wish i could just go and sleep for hours and hours...but i really doubt thats gonna happen...
i had actaully decided i wasnt gonna post for a while the other day, but im really bored and like i said i have no one to talk to...
so kylee still says that its not right that i can believe in god and not heaven and hell..she says it just doesnt work..and i dont get how it doesnt...cause in reincarnation(sp?) and most religions with that, there are gods, i think its usually more then one...im not sure...but i think it works that i beleive in god and not heaven and hell right?? right??
i really wish i could just go and sleep for hours and hours...but i really doubt thats gonna happen...
Thursday, May 27, 2004
When passion's lost and all the trust is gone,
Way too far, for way too long
Children crying, cast out and neglected,
Only in a world so cold, only in a world
This cold
Hold the hand of your best friend, look into their eyes
Then watch them drift away
Some might say, we've done the wrong things,
For way too long, for way too long
Fever inside the storm,
So I'm turning away.
Away from the name
(Calling your names)
Away from the stones
(Throw sticks and stones)
'Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us
Keep your thorns
'Cause I'm running away,
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
Away from the space
(Hate this head space)
The circumstances of a world so cold
burning whispers, Remind me of the days,
I was left alone, in a world this cold
Guilty of the same things, provoked by
The cause,
I've left alone, in a world so cold
Fever inside the storm,
So I'm turning away.
Away from the name
(Calling your names)
Away from the stones
(Throw sticks and stones)
'Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us
Keep your thorns
'Cause I'm running away,
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
Away from the space
(Hate this head space)
The circumstances of a world so cold
I'm flying, I'm flying away,
Away from the names
(Calling your names)
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
The circumstances of a world so cold
Why does everyone feel like my enemy,
Don't want any part of depression or
Darkness, I've had enough
sick and tired, bring the sun, or I'm gone,
Or I'm gone
I'm backing out, I'm no pawn,
No mother-fucking slave to this,
Never lied
Never left
Never lived
Never loved
Never lost
Never hurt
Never worry about being me, or anyone else
Not a care, no concern, don't give a shit about
Anything
Backing out, giving up, no mother-fucking
Slave to this,
Never lied
Never left
Never lived
Never loved
Never lost
Never hurt
Never worry about being me, or anyone else
Not a care, no concern, don't give a shit about
Anything,
I need to find a darkened corner,
A lightless corner,
Where it's safer and calmer,
I'm turning away.
Away from the name
(Calling your names)
Away from the stones
(Throw sticks and stones)
'Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us
I'm running away,
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
Away from the space
(Hate this head space)
The circumstances of a world so cold
I'm flying, I'm flying away,
Away from the names
(Calling your names)
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
The circumstances of a world so cold
~World so cold- Mudvayne~
and now a coupla funny songs today!!!
Oh oh
oooh
no no no
(You know there's two sides to every story)
See I don't know why you cryin' like a bitch
talkin' shit like a snitch
Why you write a song 'bout me
If you really didn't care
You wouldn't wanna share
Tellin' everybody just how you feel
×CHORUS×
Fuck What I did, was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jack
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back
Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents,I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jack
well guess what yo,fuck you right back
You thought you could really make me moan
I had better sex all alone (ha ha ha ha)
I had to do your friend
now you want me to come back
you must be smokin' crack
Im goin' else where and thats a fact
Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud
fuck it, I faked it, aren't you proud?
fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
well guess what joe,your sex was wack
Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud
fuck it,I faked it,aren't you proud?
fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
well guess what your,your sex was wack
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
You questioned did I care
maybe I would have if woulda come to me
now it's over
but I do admit i'm glad I didn't catch your crabs
I can't sweat that cause Im not ur hoe
CHORUS
fuck What I did, was your fault somehow
fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin it didnt mean jack
well guess what yo, fuck you right back
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
(you made me do this)
~Fuck You Right Back -Frankee~
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want relationship,
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want to know your name,
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want to meet your mom,
I just want bang bang bang,
Fresh you drive me insane when you give me that bang bang bang,
---------------
(talking)
Okay Annie...
Listen, I don't want to make sex,
Eat Chocolate,
Look at animals,
Take walk, no.
You come home and you say "Hashmir, touch me down there, I like that."
I dont think so Annie. Don't have time, want to drink, cigarette, you know...
you know something Annie, I tell you what...
---------------
(singing again)
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want to talk to you,
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want to know your name,
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want relationship,
I just want bang bang bang,
Fresh you drive me insane when you give me that bang bang bang.
---------------
"Oh Hashmir, Hashmir you look so good in that hat.
Why dont you give me lots of kiss?" (wrong)
I don't think so Annie.
You want me to do things to you like the sun and the moon.
Idiot, I don't have time. I have too many women.
All I have time for you know what?
---------------
(singing again)
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want to talk to you,
I just want bang bang bang,
I dont want to know your name,
I just want bang bang bang,
Fresh you drive me insane when you give me that bang bang bang.
Fresh, Fresh, Fresh, Fresh, just give me that bang bang bang.
Bang bang bang,
shes a bang bang bang,
bang bang bang,
I dont want relationship
Just give me that bang bang bang...
~I Just Want (Bang Bang Bang) -Group X~
Way too far, for way too long
Children crying, cast out and neglected,
Only in a world so cold, only in a world
This cold
Hold the hand of your best friend, look into their eyes
Then watch them drift away
Some might say, we've done the wrong things,
For way too long, for way too long
Fever inside the storm,
So I'm turning away.
Away from the name
(Calling your names)
Away from the stones
(Throw sticks and stones)
'Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us
Keep your thorns
'Cause I'm running away,
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
Away from the space
(Hate this head space)
The circumstances of a world so cold
burning whispers, Remind me of the days,
I was left alone, in a world this cold
Guilty of the same things, provoked by
The cause,
I've left alone, in a world so cold
Fever inside the storm,
So I'm turning away.
Away from the name
(Calling your names)
Away from the stones
(Throw sticks and stones)
'Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us
Keep your thorns
'Cause I'm running away,
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
Away from the space
(Hate this head space)
The circumstances of a world so cold
I'm flying, I'm flying away,
Away from the names
(Calling your names)
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
The circumstances of a world so cold
Why does everyone feel like my enemy,
Don't want any part of depression or
Darkness, I've had enough
sick and tired, bring the sun, or I'm gone,
Or I'm gone
I'm backing out, I'm no pawn,
No mother-fucking slave to this,
Never lied
Never left
Never lived
Never loved
Never lost
Never hurt
Never worry about being me, or anyone else
Not a care, no concern, don't give a shit about
Anything
Backing out, giving up, no mother-fucking
Slave to this,
Never lied
Never left
Never lived
Never loved
Never lost
Never hurt
Never worry about being me, or anyone else
Not a care, no concern, don't give a shit about
Anything,
I need to find a darkened corner,
A lightless corner,
Where it's safer and calmer,
I'm turning away.
Away from the name
(Calling your names)
Away from the stones
(Throw sticks and stones)
'Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us
I'm running away,
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
Away from the space
(Hate this head space)
The circumstances of a world so cold
I'm flying, I'm flying away,
Away from the names
(Calling your names)
Away from the games
(Fucking head games)
The circumstances of a world so cold
~World so cold- Mudvayne~
and now a coupla funny songs today!!!
Oh oh
oooh
no no no
(You know there's two sides to every story)
See I don't know why you cryin' like a bitch
talkin' shit like a snitch
Why you write a song 'bout me
If you really didn't care
You wouldn't wanna share
Tellin' everybody just how you feel
×CHORUS×
Fuck What I did, was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jack
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back
Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents,I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jack
well guess what yo,fuck you right back
You thought you could really make me moan
I had better sex all alone (ha ha ha ha)
I had to do your friend
now you want me to come back
you must be smokin' crack
Im goin' else where and thats a fact
Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud
fuck it, I faked it, aren't you proud?
fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
well guess what joe,your sex was wack
Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud
fuck it,I faked it,aren't you proud?
fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
well guess what your,your sex was wack
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
You questioned did I care
maybe I would have if woulda come to me
now it's over
but I do admit i'm glad I didn't catch your crabs
I can't sweat that cause Im not ur hoe
CHORUS
fuck What I did, was your fault somehow
fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin it didnt mean jack
well guess what yo, fuck you right back
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
ooh ooh
uh uh yea
(you made me do this)
~Fuck You Right Back -Frankee~
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want relationship,
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want to know your name,
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want to meet your mom,
I just want bang bang bang,
Fresh you drive me insane when you give me that bang bang bang,
---------------
(talking)
Okay Annie...
Listen, I don't want to make sex,
Eat Chocolate,
Look at animals,
Take walk, no.
You come home and you say "Hashmir, touch me down there, I like that."
I dont think so Annie. Don't have time, want to drink, cigarette, you know...
you know something Annie, I tell you what...
---------------
(singing again)
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want to talk to you,
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want to know your name,
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want relationship,
I just want bang bang bang,
Fresh you drive me insane when you give me that bang bang bang.
---------------
"Oh Hashmir, Hashmir you look so good in that hat.
Why dont you give me lots of kiss?" (wrong)
I don't think so Annie.
You want me to do things to you like the sun and the moon.
Idiot, I don't have time. I have too many women.
All I have time for you know what?
---------------
(singing again)
I just want bang bang bang,
I don't want to talk to you,
I just want bang bang bang,
I dont want to know your name,
I just want bang bang bang,
Fresh you drive me insane when you give me that bang bang bang.
Fresh, Fresh, Fresh, Fresh, just give me that bang bang bang.
Bang bang bang,
shes a bang bang bang,
bang bang bang,
I dont want relationship
Just give me that bang bang bang...
~I Just Want (Bang Bang Bang) -Group X~
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
*screams* i hate her...and i fucking hate him too...god she looks like a man i swear...ahhhh..theyre fucking assholes...ahhh anyways.....
um...im really really tired....i almost fell asleep during 1 hour...man i wish i could get more sleep..but no...damn insomnia wont let me...rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
*sighs* i dont really have much to say...um....yeah...yup...uh huh...
yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup
ill bet this is the most boring post ever but whtever...im bored so it all works..
yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup
um...im really really tired....i almost fell asleep during 1 hour...man i wish i could get more sleep..but no...damn insomnia wont let me...rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
*sighs* i dont really have much to say...um....yeah...yup...uh huh...
yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup
ill bet this is the most boring post ever but whtever...im bored so it all works..
yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yupyup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup y up yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup
